I Seek For My Star
by Fizzalicious Cherri
Summary: Told through the diary of Princess Sakura Kinomoto. Her recordings of her adventures as she enters the age of 16, and her baffling emotions towards the cold knight Li Syaoran. Until one fateful day, he must leave to defend her kingdom, will he come back?
1. Celebrating

  
  
  
  
  
  
AN: This idea sprung into my head.....when I was sitting in social studies class and listening to my teacher blab on about medieval ages. And now this fic will appear! All thanks to social studies ^O^!! Strange isn't it? This will be written in Sakura's point of view, although the beginning isn't. If I'm going to jump out of Sakura's point of view writing, for some strange reason, I'll write a little note in the middle of the page to indicate that! Hehe, so hope you like this story, and R+R! Lots of love, Fizzalicious Cherri.  
  
Disclaimer: Story line is mine, and all mine!! Wheee!! But characters belong to CLAMP, and so does CCS ^_^  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


I Seek For My Star  
Chapter 1: Celebrating  
3rd CCS fic by Fizzalicious Cherri

  
  
  
  
_  
_

_  
  
~*~  
  
We'll share the stars in the summer night,  
We'll share the stars in the winter night.  
One Heart. One Whole. One Love. _  
  
~*~

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Birds of pure white feathers flew across the grey cold stone pathway leading to a huge magony door. Along the pathway grew peonies full of life and color, swaying gently with the spring breeze that could not knock them down. These little flowers were not a mere image to add to the beautiful front yard of the rather large mansion. They were a sign, of someone special.  
  
Up the steps of the pathway and through the double doors, lead to a warm and cozy hallway of fine antique furnisher and glistening chandeliers.   
  
Giggling voices and happy memories mingled in the crisp clean air of spring, and if you turn right from the entrance into the warm house you would see the living room full of plush maroon velvet chairs with little children huddled in a group. They were waiting anxiously for something to do, and holding onto their stuffed dolls and toys weren't enough for their childish pleasures.  
  
"Mam, can we please have story time now?" One girl with wide honey eyes said pleadingly.  
  
Another little boy with fairly messy brown hair pulled himself into a sitting position and grinned. "Yeah!! We want a stowy!!"  
  
"Stowy!!" All the little kids shrieked in delight.  
  
An old woman with fair silver hair and flushed cheeks full of wrinkles with age smiled at them lovingly. "Very well, what story shall we have today?"  
  
"Oh oh oh!! The story of Princess Sakura and the courageous knight Li Syaoran!!" A girl in pigtails cried in excitement.  
  
Everyone nodded with bright smiles.  
  
The woman smiled softly, her eyes glassy as she sat down on one of the many maroon chairs. "Haven't we all heard of this one already?"  
  
"But mam!! We have to hear this tale again," The girl pouted with her small chubby hands crossed.  
  
The ancient looking woman chuckled and leaned back. "Hai hai (ok, ok). Let's all get comfy and I shall begin."  
  
The children crossed their legs and placed their hands on their laps and stared up at her with wide eyes of eagerness, ready to listen to the words that were about to spin a tale for them. The woman took out a worn looking book that had a pinkish color to it, but it was dulled for it was as old as her. It had a lock to it, just like a diary, and neat handwriting was written across every fine yellowed page.  
  
"Long ago...in the world where castles and knights, princesses and princes excisted, there was a kingdom...the Kinomoto Kingdom...and their beautiful daughter Sakura."  
  
  
  
  
  
"The feast is set, and the guests are arriving! How exciting tis it not?"  
  
"Hai!! It is our princess' sixteenth birthday! Oh my, such a delicate one is she."  
  
I looked about through the small window next to my bed, trying to block out the sounds of the servants and maids making a fuss over my sixteenth birthday. I'm sitting here on a small stool trying to balance this diary on my lap-- it is rather a hard task I do say. I know I should be preparing for the ball tonight, but I'm just so tired from the long lecture I had with otou-san (father) about my future.  
  
He wants me to get married, and I really don't know what to do! We've talked about it endlessly and it just doesn't seem to click into place that I don't have anyone in my eyes yet...and I will not marry someone I do not love. It is insane to marry someone you don't love! Yet it has happened to so many princesses and princes over the world, I hope I'm lucky and I'm not one of them...  
  
I'm looking up and I see my fancy new dress layed out on the pink bedsheets of my bed. I must agree that it is a rather nice looking dress...and it was a light pink, my favorite color! The frills on it is rather a bit too frilly, but then if I told them to take the frills off, the dress would look so utterly naked from its grand entire.   
  
"Your highness, please, we must get you ready for the ball in less then three hours sharp!"  
  
That was my personal maid, Kaiko. Though I sometimes find her really fussy, and demanding, she's a good person and we've had our times that we felt equal. And I do take her as a friend, not as a maid. Yet since she is calling me, I have no choice but to oblige. I will write in you later to tell you of the events at the ball! Wish me luck in finding the right one for me.  
  
  


~*~

  
  
  
Hoe!! It wasn't as bad as I thought it would be! Tomoyo-chan was there to, of course, and so was her soon to be husband, Eriol! I must say they look stunning together and it's as if it's a fairy tale story come to life! They are so kawaii together, yet Tomoyo was rather disappointed when I told her I was not engaged. But other than that, I want to tell you all about tonight!  
  
  
I walked into the vast bright room filled with gossiping and laughing people, yet all was silenced when I placed my pink high-heeled shoes onto the red velvet rug that led up to the thrones.  
  
I made my way up, and smiled at otou-san, and then I turned my eyes to my onii-chan (brother). He had his usual smirk on his face at me, and I knew once I was close enough, I would hear...  
  
"Kaijuu (monster)." He muttered.  
  
I maintained my posture and smile until I was taking my seat next to him. "Mou! I'm not a kaijuu, onii-chan!! I'm sixteen now!"  
  
"In the eyes of your brother, you'll always be a kaijuu," He smiled and I couldn't resist but stick my tongue out at him.  
  
I know deep down he loves me and cares for me just like an onii-chan should do, but couldn't he show it in a different way? But it doens't matter now, for I feel unusually genki (cheerful)! I saw all eyes on me, some whispering, some smiling. Yet one thing I heard annoyed me to the ends of my auburn hair.  
  
"I heard the princess is not engaged yet!"  
  
"Oh my lord! That is rather upsetting!"  
  
I blew a strand of hair that was in my emerald eyes, and frowned. One thing I didn't like about royaltly. The lack of privacy.  
  
I will not remained unmarried, it is just that...I haven't found the right one for me yet. Otou-san has tried bringing many princes from faraway kingdoms, but none caught my eye, although they were all very nice. It just...didn't light the flame of the untouched wicker of the candle in my heart.  
  
My otou-san, the great King Fujitaka, stood up, and I assume he's going to make a speech.  
  
"People of the Kinomoto Kingdom, we gather here today to celebrate our beloved Princess Sakura's sixteenth birthday!" He says it with bright eyes, and I couldn't help but smile when the group abrupted into applause. "She has grown up to be a thoughful, caring, and beautiful young lady. I know she will not disappoint us in the near future, when she will reign as queen in whatever kingdom she will be married to!"  
  
I felt my cheeks go red as everyone cheered. Touya brought me back down to earth when I heard him utter to himself, "She doesn't even have someone in mind yet."  
  
Well, that was true, and I really didn't want to disappoint my family and my father's kingdom. But what is a girl like me to do when that special person just hasn't appeared?  
  
"Sakura-chan!!"  
  
I snapped out of my revere when I heard the familiar warm voice of my best friend and distant cousin, Tomoyo Daidouji. I felt myself leave the throne and down the red velvet steps to embrace my friend.  
  
"Tomoyo-chan!! I've missed you so!" I stepped back to look over my friend, her long wavy strands of dark hair and her sparkling amethyst eyes. Nothing out of place, just like the Tomoyo I knew!  
  
She looked excited though, as if she was about to burst. "I want you to meet someone!!" She finally squealed in delight as she picked up her skirts in one hand while taking my hand in the other.  
  
I followed her through the crowd of dancing people and then to a little enclosed corner of the room. I saw a young man around our age, standing there with a navy blue tuxedo and a champaigne class in one hand.  
  
When his dark eyes landed on me, he politely bowed and smiled. "Happy birthday, princess."  
  
I curtseyed back, careful not to step on the frills of my dress. "Arigatou." I smiled.  
  
"This is Eriol! My soon to be...husband!!" Tomoyo clapped her hands together, and I could see the stars in her eyes and the air of excitement around her.  
  
"Hoe!!! Sugoi neh!!" I cried out in delight and smiled brightly at Eriol. "You two look so kawaii together!! You are perfect to be with each other!!"   
  
Eriol smiled calmly and pushed his glasses up slightly. "It is my turn to thank you now princess."  
  
"Oh please, just call me Sakura." I didn't want my best friend's betrothed to call me 'princess'! It was absurd!  
  
Tomoyo beamed and looked questioningly at me. I blinked at her, "Hoe?"  
  
"Well, how about you?" Tomoyo asked excitedly as if I had some news to surprise her with. Yet I had none.  
  
"..What about me?" I felt myself sweatdrop and Tomoyo's excited face turned into a frown.  
  
"You mean you haven't found your number one guy yet?"  
  
I tilted my head and a small smile appeared on my lush pink lips. "Iie (no)." I replied simply.  
  
Tomoyo shrieked so loudly that many people turned to cast their gaze upon us with confusion. I turned red in embarrassment as Tomoyo grabbed my hands. "But that's ok! Because I know you'll find him soon because you're Sakura-chan!!" Once again, stars sprung in her eyes as they glistened with hope.  
  
"And then I'll be able to make the prettiest wedding dress for Sakura-chan!! It will be my dream come true! Oh ho ho ho!!" Tomoyo laughed.  
  
I turned probably every shade of red before I could utter. "Tomoyo..."  
  
"Iie! It won't be hard to make that dress!"   
  
I looked down at my feet when the sounds of horns blowing brought me back to my senses. My father had stood up again, and the music and dancing people had stopped almost to quickly.  
  
"Also, tonight I would like to present the new knights of honour that will be fighting for our kingdom when we are in danger, and when we are in need of protection! These knights have been trained from a very young age, and are skillful and faithful." My father waved his hand to his left and four men in armour came up the steps.  
  
I squinted my eyes and noticed they weren't old, yet some of them seemed as young as I!  
  
"I, Takashi Yamasaki pledge an oath of loyalty to the Kinomoto Kingdom, to serve and only serve for their purposes."  
  
"I, Teishkay Misori pledge an oath of loyalty to the Kinomoto Kingdom, to serve and only serve for their purposes."  
  
"I, Deushi Gihei pledge an oath of loyalty to the Kinomoto Kingdom, to serve and only serve for their purposes."  
  
"I, Li Syaoran pledge an oath of loyalty to the Kinomoto Kingdom, to serve and only serve for their purposes."  
  
That name caught my attention for it was different than the rest. It wasn't a japanese name, and in fact, it was chinese!  
  
My eyes raised as I caught the figure that was supposedly Li Syaoran, and I noticed how young he looked. Untamed brown hair, with strands cascading over his intense and fierce amber eyes. I shivered slightly, he did look rather strong...yet handsome at the same time.  
  
Now look what I'm saying!! Nonsense!! I cannot set my eyes on a knight of my kingdom! It is completely ridiculous and I will think of this Li Syaoran no more.  
  
I think it is because I am to desperate to find my soul mate that I would dare comment on a knight. Yet now I am sitting here, on my soft bed as a sixteen year old girl, and all my brain is thinking of is the fierce cold eyes of that stranger. Li Syaoran.  
  
  
  
  
AN: I would love to know how you guys think of this fic so far :) Also, this is an AU fic, so no magic involved and stuff. I think this is my first AU fic...tee hee...at least I think. Well hope you enjoyed it so far and R+R minna-san! Arigatou~!  
  
  
  



	2. Meeting

  
  
  
  
  
AN: Just to clear things up, this story _isn't_ set in the medieval ages ^^;; Though I did get the idea from my teacher _-talking- _about medieval ages. This story takes place in my made up time, my little fantasy time that I've created to fit what I write. Thanks for the tips on the Japanese stuff in the review, Kara Kasai ^_^ Anyways, here's chapter 2.  
  
Disclaimer: Characters belong to CLAMP, and so does CCS ^_^  
  
  
  
  


  
  
  
  
  
  
I Seek For My Star  
Chapter 2: Meeting  
3rd CCS fic by Fizzalicious Cherri

  
  
  
  
  
  


~*~  
  
_Maybe now we are nothing but strangers  
But the spell of time  
Is so unpredictable  
That maybe someday we will be anything but strangers_  


  


~*~

  
  
  
  
  
  
Hoe? I am awfully tired at the moment but I cannot fall back asleep for the rays of the sun are creeping through my pink curtains. I will try to make a mental note to myself to tell someone that I need thicker curtains!   
  
Its been two days since my birthday and nothing seems to have changed. I wonder when life will get more exciting, for it is rather a bore at the very moment and everything just seems so dull it is almost unbearable. Maybe I shall go to the market today if I can persuade Kaiko to let me. That's another thing about royalty, you get so protected that it feels like you're completely not in control of your own life.  
  
I'm pulling the curtains aside right now and my eyes gaze below at the palace garden which is a rather pleasant sight. Oh yet it isn't just the nature's beauty down below, for a see a dark green speck leaning against the trunk of the old big oak tree near the stone walls.  
  
Oh kami-san, it is Li Syaoran!  
  
My emerald eyes squint to try to make out his features, though I couldn't see him clearly, I just knew it was him. I don't see why I take so much interest in this mere little knight. Well, I can't say he's little for he's much bigger in size than I. But other than that, I'm so curious at why he is down at the palace gardens alone with such a grim look on his face.  
  
I want to go down there and join him...yet do I dare cross the path of those intense cold eyes?  
  
  


~*~

  
  
  
My cheeks are flushed from the heart chilling cold of the outside and now I am pulling my fur cloak over myself so tightly I feel like I'm choking myself. I've just spent fifteen minutes hiding behind bushes and spying on Li Syaoran! I know it is an insane act for me to do, but I couldn't bring myself to step out of those bushes and greet him!  
  
I am so confused, why do I not greet him? I only have an echo of his voice in my mind from two nights ago, and I so badly wish for us to meet. I guess I am interested in the life of a knight, for I have no other intentions to go near him, right?  
  
And so behind those bushes I watched his every movement. From kicking a broken branch away from his feet to slapping a fly away from his stern looking face. He seemed so deep in thought, and I guess that is another reason I wish not to go near him and break his train of thought. Yet I longed to go and comfort him for he seemed so utterly sad!  
  
Is it because he is now a knight for my kingdom? Demo...I would think he would be happy to have such a high status, for he isn't just any ordinary knight! He was one of father's most favoured, that's why he's an honoured one! So then...what is bringing him such sadness? Or maybe his face is always set in that cold stone like look. Though everyone must have a smile in them, am I not correct?  
  
I find it rather silly that my mind is filled with images of this fierce looking knight that does not even know that I am insanely interested in him. Iie, that was written in a rather strange way. I don't mean to say I'm _ interested_ in this Li Syaoran, I'm just curious at what his personailty is like. _That is all_. I find it interesting to see a young man like him with such intelligience and sorrowness shown in his eyes. Though his body is just a young man, I feel like he's been through much more.  
  
Kaiko has just stepped into my dim litted room with a tray of cookies and a pot of tea. I will take this as my chance to ask her if she would be kind enough to bring me out to the market this afternoon.  
  
"Kaiko...?"  
  
"Yes princess?" She did a little bow and stared at me with her light purple eyes full of warmth and comfort.  
  
I smile, "Onegai (please), can we please go to the market this afternoon?"  
  
"...Gomen nasai my little princess, but I have so many things to do..." Kaiko has always called me 'my little princess' ever since I could understand the human language. I don't mind it, it is much more nicer than being called a 'kaijuu' by your own onii-chan.  
  
I looked disappointed, "Demo, it is so boring here in the castle walls."  
  
"Maybe you can practice the koto (japanese string instrument) in the gardens then? You know how much your mentor would like you to practice for you never really do!" Kaiko scolded, yet not seriously.  
  
I thought about it and actually decided on the fact that it would be a rather pleasant idea. "Actually Kaiko, I will go practice my koto."  
  
I've learned it ever since I was seven, though I never took the art of playing it seriously. The koto was actually an instrument created by the Chinese, but I guess this is the result of cultral exchange. I really do love the music of the koto, but I'm just rather lazy at practicing.  
  


~*~

  
  
I spent a good one and a half hours sitting on the stone mound chair in front of my koto that I placed outside on a few wooden stands. Yet you wouldn't guess what happened!  
  
My fingers were plucking the strings calmly when I heard shuffling in the bushes nearby. At first I thought it must have been a bird searching for food, or just some wild animal of some sort roaming the gardens. But I was surely wrong for a saw a pair of feet sticking out!  
  
I couldn't help but giggle, and the 'wild animal' must have heard me for the feet quickly disppeared and more shuffling of leaves echoed throughout the silent garden, not including my music of course.  
  
After playing for several minutes, I looked up with my eyes curiously and smiled. "Please, come out." I giggled softly as I placed my hands in my lap waiting for the stranger to reveal themself.  
  
And all at once I was shocked and awed at who stepped out from the bushes.  
  
It was none other than Li Syaoran.  
  
He cleared his throat and stared at me with eyes void of emotion. He was dressed not in armour, but in a pair of dark green pants and a shirt with black chinese symbols and a sword strapped to his back. "Gomen nasai." Was his only words to me.  
  
I studied him for a while, pondering the fact if he knew I was the princess of this kingdom or not. "It's ok, I don't mind having an audience." I smiled softly, yet he didn't smile back.  
  
Syaoran turned on his heels to walk away, but I felt that it was so incomplete I had to stop him. "Wait, onegai!"  
  
His feet stopped in place, though he didn't turn to face me again. How rude, but I guess he didn't know I was the princess, how strange. For he was at the ball two nights ago, I guess he wasn't paying much attention.   
  
He seems like he is a man that lacks patience.  
  
"Nani?" He mumbled.  
  
"What is your name?" I pretended that it was the first time I had ever seen or heard of him.  
  
Again, he did not turn around. "It is none of your business miss."  
  
"Why must you act so coldly?" The words spilt from my pink lips before I could stop myself.  
  
Syaoran grunted and looked over his shoulder, piercing me with his striking amber eyes. "You are a fair lady of much curiousity aren't you?"  
  
"...Hoe..." I sweatdropped at his calm and cold remark.  
  
He turned around fully to face me now, a scowl on his face which sent shivers down my spine. "The way I act is for me to know, and for you to never find out."  
  
I frowned slightly, I couldn't believe how stubborn he was! How could father like him so? Now I was having a negative feel towards Li Syaoran! "Well...you were listening to my music, may I ask why?"  
  
I guess I caught him this time, because his eyes widened the slightest bit as he thought about what his reply should be.  
  
"...The sound of it intruges me, that is all." He turned away once more and walked off.  
  
This time, I didn't stop him, for I wanted to come back to my room and write it all down, just as I have done so. He is sure a queer being, I just can't figure him out! But that is what makes him so interesting; the mystery that surrounds him!  
  
I guess I am getting a bit nosy aren't I? Mou (geez)! I wish he wasn't so complicated! I really don't know why, but I feel like I want to help him with his problems that are so hidden but so visible by his coldness.  
  
It is dinner soon and I must change to my evening outfit. Ja ne!  
  
  


~*~

  
  
  
Sugoi!! Dinner was great as usual and I'm glad Tomoyo and Eriol are staying here for a month! Their wedding is going to be in months time! I am so excited!!  
  
Demo...I bumped into a strange person in the main halls of the palace this evening. He looked awfully familiar but I just couldn't place my finger on it. He had short shiny black hair and rather striking ocean blue eyes. He looked fairly young also, possibly a year or two older than me! But that is not the point, his actions were!  
  
He did know I was the princess, and so he bowed to me deeply and said "Good evening your highness."  
  
I curtseyed and smiled when he opened his mouth to speak again. "Your smile brings light to all filled with darkness."   
  
I couldn't help but blush as he smiled at me in such a...I don't know how to put it into words! Demo...such a strange way! All I could utter was "Arigatou..."  
  
"I guess...I'll be seeing you around," He bowed again before walking off.  
  
I must have seen him around the palace for he looks awfully familiar now that I think of him again. I guess if I was to compare him and Li Syaoran, they were practically complete opposites for all I know! This mysterious young man was charming and sweet, while Li-kun was...well...mysterious also, and charming...and handsome...and...rude. Well, mean in other words.  
  
Oh dears! Look what's happening to me! Just after my sixteenth birthday and I'm going crazy! Why are there so many mysterious young men around the place nowadays?! It is rather bugging me now and I feel so confused!  
  
But I know one thing for sure. I am not in love, of course I'm not. I am just curious about Syaoran because he's an interesting figure...and yes...and the mysterious man I met this evening is just...a moment of confusion and shock. Yes, that's it.  
  
I feel so absolutely strange! I need Tomoyo-chan right now.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
AN: Hehehe ^^;; I know it must be boring right now, but the plot will get along soon. The koto, by the way, is the same thing as the chinese instrument called the "Gu Zheng". It is a long intrusment that you play horizontally; it's also a string instrument. Back then they didn't use plucks, but now we do. I guess I decided to make Sakura able to play it, because I play it, and I like it alot and I thought that a princess playing a koto was rather elegant looking :P Heh, anways, hope you enjoyed this chapter and I would obviously love to hear what you think!  
  
  
  
  



	3. Raining

  
  
  
  
  
Disclaimer: Characters belong to CLAMP, and so does CCS ^_^  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


  
I Seek For My Star  
Chapter Three: Raining  
3rd CCS fic by Fizzalicious Cherri

  
  
  
  


  
  
  
  
~*~  
  
Under the tears of the sky  
We meet  
We share  
Our dearest thoughts  
Even if it is without words  
  
~*~

  
  
  
  
  
  
I feel awfully cold and weary, the rain is pounding against the glass window, and my mood isn't lifting. Rain has never been my favorite type of weather, it just makes me sad and slightly bored.  
  
Today I have classes on the history of my kingdom and one of our neighbouring kingdoms. History is so boring! Why must I learn about the past when we're living in the present? I don't see the point of it, except you just gain some interesting facts that we onced used sticks to eat our food or something like that. It really is just a waste of time is it not?  
  
Tomoyo and Eriol had wanted to go to the market today but I guess it is rather hard to go on such a rainy day. It would be awfully muddy and I like staying indoors during days like these.  
  
I feel like venturing the halls right now, and that is what I'll do right now.  
  


~*~

  
I saw him once again, and I find it funny how I always seem to be able to bump into him. This time I think I can see a bit of warmth in his icy entire!   
  
As I had written before, I went for a walk inside the hallways of the palace when I looked out of the grand window in the main hallway and saw Li Syaoran with a sword slicing through the pelting rain. I guess I forgot that it was raining at once, and ran out to hide behind a pillar to watch him train.  
  
His wet hair was matted to his forehead and one would assume he was sweating but since his whole body was soaked through from the rain, I couldn't really tell. From the silence of only the rain and my breath, I could hear his soft pants of breath as he back flipped and landed closer to the pillar I hid behind.  
  
That was when the silence of training was broken from his voice.  
  
"I see that this time you are eavesdropping on me."  
  
I felt my cheeks turn red as I stepped out from behind the pillar with questioning eyes. "How did you know?"  
  
"I see your reflection from the window behind you," He stated simply as I felt embarrassed at my own stupidity.  
  
Yet he didn't seem as mad and cold as our last encounter in the gardens. He actually seemed quite amused. Was that a glimmer of laughter in his eyes? I am not sure, but still, his coldness did not waver.  
  
"Why are you training in the rain and not indoors?" I decided to break the weird tension.  
  
Syaoran placed his sword back in its sheath on his back, yet he didn't move from his spot. "I like training outdoors."  
  
"You might catch a cold," I reminded.  
  
"I won't," He said confidently.  
  
That was when he sneezed and I couldn't help but let my giggles overtake me. He growled at me and turned his eyes away from me to the cold stone ground.  
  
I walked closer to him and took the cloak from my back and made a motion of giving it to him when he shook his head. "A girl like you would need it more than I. And what are you doing out here? You will catch a cold too." He shot back.  
  
"I won't," I said with the same confidence as him.  
  
He smirked.  
  
I guess I was surprised, though my face did not show it. He actually smirked! His facial expression changed from his usual flat emotionless face...to a smirk! I do say a smile would fit him best, though I've never seen him smile.  
  
"Why are you always spying on me?" He questioned with a tone of annoyance now.  
  
I blinked. What did he mean by always?  
  
"I know that you were hiding behind bushes that time I was leaning against the oak tree," He looked at me sternly. "Do you have a problem?"  
  
"...No..." I uttered as I blushed. So he had seen me! How embarrassing!  
  
He walked by me towards the door that led back into the palace. "Then you have a strong curiousity over my actions?"  
  
"...No..." I didn't know how to explain, because I didn't know why either. "Well, you spied on me once too!" I shot back.  
  
"That was because of the music...it was just a familiar tune," He mumbled. "And to think I do not even know your name, and I see you everywhere. Why are you even in the palace? By your way of dress, you aren't a servant for sure." He commented with a monotone voice.  
  
I joined him near the door that led back inside. "Do you wish to know my name then?" I said with a teasing voice.  
  
He raised an eyebrow and shrugged, "No." And then quickly walked off.  
  
I had the strangest desire to tell him my name, so he could remember that I excisted. But I guess I was a bit shy...and I retired back into my chambers again.  
  
That conversation must have been the longest I have ever had with him! And it was rather...thrilling? I am strange! I think there is something wrong with me.  
  


~*~

  
  
I have just come back from visiting Tomoyo-chan in her chambers and now I am even more utterly confused. She had giggled so many times in our conversation that I got rather confused and annoyed.  
  
"Tomoyo-chan, do you remember the knight that was present on my sixteenth birthday?" I had asked while sitting on the foot of her bed.  
  
She was brushing out her fine long dark hair when she turned to me and smiled, "There were many knights there, Sakura-chan."  
  
"I mean...Li Syaoran," I uttered and I guess something must have shown on my face because Tomoyo placed her brush down and giggled.  
  
"Oh! Wasn't he a knight of honour?" Tomoyo plopped herself next to me with a mischevious glimmer in her amethyest eyes.  
  
I nodded simply and scratched my head. "Ano...I always bump into him around the palace..."  
  
"Kawaii Sakura-chan!! It's fate!" Tomoyo went all starry eyed and I couldn't help but sweatdrop.  
  
"Iie Tomoyo-chan!! It's not what you think...it's just that...he's such a queer person!!"   
  
Tomoyo went into another giggling fit, "Oh ho ho ho ho!! I think my little Sakura-chan is interested in something!"  
  
"Hoe?" I blinked, but Tomoyo didn't answer me but continued to giggle. "Anyways..." I continued. "He's so cold and never really tries to make conversation, and today we were out in the rain. That must have been the longest conversation I had with him, even if it only lasted for about five minutes!"  
  
Tomoyo smiled brightly at me, the sparkle in her eyes growing. "Sakura-chan!!!!!" She squealed.  
  
I shrunk back in embarrassment at her sudden shriek. "Nani??!" I thought she had just remembered something urgent.  
  
"You're in love!!!!" She cried as she jumped off from her bed and spun around in a full circle, her violet dress blowing around her as she clasped her delicate hands together. "Kirei!! On your sweet sixteenth birthday, you met your first love!! Kawaii!!"  
  
I blushed deeply as I pulled my knees up to my chin while hugging them on the soft bed. "Iie (no) Tomoyo-chan!! I'm not in love...that's just silly!!"  
  
Tomoyo just placed a hand on the side of her face thoughtfully. I think she was thinking of something, but I couldn't really read her expression.  
  
"Demo...he's a knight Sakura-chan," Tomoyo said worridly now. Her tone of excitement dropped.  
  
"...So?" I blinked.  
  
"That means you two cannot marry!!"  
  
I sweatdropped, "I'm not in love Tomoyo-chan!! How can I be in love after two actual encounters and two glimpses of a person! It makes no sense!"  
  
"It's love at first sight Sakura-chan!" Tomoyo insisted.  
  
"Tomoyo! Stop joking about!" I knew I was bright red by now and I didn't know why!  
  
"If you weren't, why are you so interested in him?" She gave me an amused look.  
  
I was silent as I stared wistfully at the ceiling. "...I don't know..."  
  
Tomoyo giggled once again as she smiled brightly. "You'll see someday Sakura-chan." She smiled at me as if she knew something more than I about myself!  
  
I left after a few minutes and now I'm here in a confused state.   
  
In love?  
  
Me?   
  
With Li Syaoran?  
  
Ridiculous!!  
  


~*~

  
  
A few days have gone by, and I have not again encountered the mysterious Li Syaoran. Strangely...I feel rather disappointed! I wonder why I feel this way...I'm so confused that I feel silly!  
  
Father has been getting more restless by the day about his unmarried daugther. Which means me. I wish he would understand that I wish not to marry so...suddenly! I do hope he would understand and give me more time to find someone that I can truly fall in love with...like Tomoyo's engagement! She is truly in love with Eriol...and I wish to have a marriage like her!  
  
Why isn't father stressing out about Touya? He is unmarried although so many girls are wanting to catch his eyes! I guess it is because I am a girl...but that is so unfair! But I do understand that father is just wanting someone to take care of me when he gets old...oh how I wish I can presuade him that I can be like Touya! I can take care of myself too...  
  
Now that I think about it...is there a difference between falling in love and crushing on someone? I think there is a difference! Love is such an enchanting emotion! I wonder if it is actually as magical as it seems in stories! But I guess I cannot base my opinion on love just by books! One must actually feel the emotion to truly understand it...oh my, I feel so silly writing all this! And having a crush...I have had that feeling....towards my onii-chan's best friend Yukito-san. But I finally got over it after many...childish years...yet now I feel as silly as back then!  
  
Ehehehehehehe....I feel awfully warm now even though it is still raining and the air from the outdoors is blowing in from my slightly open window.  
  
Hoe...my thoughts are wandering and have once again landed on Syaoran. Oh my...I can't get his sorrowful and cold eyes out of mind! I really wonder what brings him so much sorrow...  
  
Oh!! Maybe it's because he's in love with a fair maiden back from his own kingdom! And since he had to come to my kingdom to serve as a knight...he had to leave her! Oh my, that must have been a heart wrenching moment!  
  
...Gosh...what am I saying?! I am going crazy!! That's exactly what's happening to me!!  
  
  
  
  
  
AN: Silly Sakura-chan ^^;;  
  



End file.
